What!?!

Time, the never-ending cycle that continues at various rates and intervals.

How is it that so much time escapes me between my writings. What evil word is ‘tomorrow’.

I can make excuses, claim life, living, work, family, circumstances… pick one for yourself, I can claim it… as the reason for my non-compliance to my own wishful diligence; but it all boils down to the indiscretion of time – or my indiscriminate use of it.

I sit here thinking, this time – I will do it this time! But deeper down, the voices that rule my very existence laugh and mock me.

All I can really do is recommit, and keep re-committing every time I seem to fail, for failure isn’t in the stopping, or the falling, but in the refusal to get back up and try again.

Again, again, again, I will work at committing to my desire to write full-time. After all, it is, at this moment, my deepest desire.

What a day!!!

Image courtesy of Amazon.com

This day is worthy of Alexander in Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst.

Why, oh why must these days creep upon us, and though we know they are out there, they always catch us by surprise.

Rather than ramble about the tedious exploits of the day, which included showing up early to someone elses doctor appointment, only to return an hour later to discover that the receptionist, who was too busy watching something on her computer monitor to look at my name, confused me with someone else, and that my appointment was scheduled for the following week…

– had she actually looked at my name on the appointment sign in sheet, she could have informed me early on, and I could have resumed my day by sleeping and working – I work nights…

– as it were, it was too late to sleep, too late to cancel my call out, too late to do anything but go back to bed and mope.

That was just one of the series of unfortunate events, of which I rained over everyone I came in direct contact with – I ask again – why?

– that which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger – was my sister’s anecdote, and though I love my sister dearly, I really hate that phrase!

– so, here I be, moping in my bedroom, with the blinds pulled low and the lights all off, keeping my self induce misery to, well, myself.

Maybe I’ll find a really scary movie to watch, those are best watched in these dark moods. So, it’s off to the shadows, and hopefully, I will emerge in better spirits – hey, scary movies just do it for me when I’m in these moods…

*Sigh*

Robin…

Robin Williams 2011a (2).jpg

Photo courtesy of Wikipedia.com

I would feel remiss if I didn’t post my sorrow about the passing of a great, great man. Robin Williams, my hero in so many ways…

First, though I know it will likely not reach them – my condolences to the Williams’ family. My grief is poignant, I can only imagine your sorrow. My thoughts and prayers go to you.

Wow, this really hurts!

My first experience with Robin Williams was in my living room watching Mork and Mindy, it fast became my favorite TV show and He instantly became my favorite actor.

I was thrilled when I learned that he was not only a comedic actor, but a very serious actor as well – and brilliant. I hated seeing him play a bad guy, well… because he did such an excellent job, I hated seeing my beloved funny guy in that role.

Though I loved almost any show he acted in (some were not my genre), a few of my favorite movies are: Dead Poet’s Society – I learned to change my perspective of the world; Good Morning Vietnam; Awakenings – where I was thrilled to discover that he was a real actor, not just a comedian; The Fisher King; Hook – of course; Batty in FernGully – the movie was okay, but from Batty, I discovered that not all Rap was bad; Aladdin – the genie… need I say more! Mrs Doubtfire – seriously, I cannot see anyone else pulling off that role; Jumanji; The Birdcage; Jack; Flubber; Good Will Hunting – two of my favorite actors together – yummy! Patch Adams; Jakob the Liar – sad, of course anything about the holocaust is sad; Bicentennial Man; Night at the Museum; Oliver Twi…. Uhm, no – August Rush – not so much his character, but he did a brilliant job…

This list I got from IMDb.

Though I must admit that I haven’t seen everything that He’s participated in, what I have seen has repeatedly proven the versatility of the man he was. I always have been and still am in awe of this great man.

From Robin Williams, I learned that it’s okay to make fun of life, good or bad; most importantly, I learned that you didn’t have to grow up to be an adult.

Thank-you Mr Williams, I never grew up, and I never will. The world has lost an icon…

Thinkin’

Uhm, this is interesting…

I have been thinking, well not daily, but a lot, about posting something here.

You know, keeping a regular blog, that doesn’t entail personal disclosures on a daily basis is really difficult…

That said, I have been thinking about what is post worthy… So, what is post worthy? Does the world want to hear my miscellaneous ramblings?

I once thought that I wanted to be a philosopher, I mean, all they do is walk around telling the world their view on the world and they get paid for it!

But the world has no use for philosophers, or so I thought, that was before the internet…

Now I find people searching the internet for like-minded people with like-minded views of their own realities – and some of it is very scary

I’ll try my best not to be very scary.

I’m rambling… I know I’m rambling, and you know why I’m rambling? Because I can! This is my site, I pay for it, I have control over it and I can say whatever I want! That is I can say whatever I want as long as it is within the code of the contract I signed to get this site. Which is a good thing, because while I personally wouldn’t say most things that randomly pop in my head, things that my personal little moral police chase out as soon as they detect it… some people – not so much.

That reminds me of when I was a kid, and I know that I’m not the only one that has thought this because I’ve seen such thinking displayed for public humor in other media – mostly TV – that was the main media outlet when I was but a lass – chriminy, am I dating myself – well, according to my kids, I did finally turn 110 on my birthday 2010. Before then I was 108 – I guess they thought I needed to grow up a bit.

Boy, do I have OOH SHINY bad today or what! You know, ADOS – Attention Deficit Ooh Shiny… according to Michael, most girls have it, all babies have it, and very few animals don’t have it…

Oh, back to my childhood thinking – did you think I forgot? Well I have it written up there somewhere, so how could I forget it, it’s in permanent memory mode… Whew, I think I better stop soon, this Ooh Shiny is not going away anytime soon…

My thoughts as a child were that the world was full of micro-people – they ran everything! They swept out the internal organs and kept them clean, they ran the pumps that kept your blood going – hey, I was a kid, I didn’t know about the heart and lungs and kidneys until I was five! Give me a break! Even then, the micro-people took care of them and made sure they did their jobs!

Even the radios and the TV’s had micro-people to keep us entertained – it was fantastic how they coordinated from house to house to make sure everyone saw and heard the same things, but I only thought that when logic hit my brain – around eight I think… of course, when logic hit, then knowledge soon followed. Who cares that it’s the other way around, it’s my story, if you don’t like it go tell your own story!

Eek, I’m a mite touchy today along with the Ooh Shiny thing. I guess I’ll stop now, no sense harassing the little voices in my brain that gives me all the nice points to make… hey, is that what’s wrong with me and my postings lately? Are my voices unwell? Maybe they have strep and can’t talk that loud and I’m not listening close enough…

Okay, I’m done… thanks for reading my ramblings – hey, I appreciate it, even if I do or don’t know who you are, it’s nice of you to read and think good thoughts about what I write… if you don’t like it, you wouldn’t read it right? Anywho, have a great shiny day while I try to get the OS out of my mind – or not, it doesn’t bother me most times, but it sure wasn’t helpful today!

This it, I’m done, I’m hitting publish… now.

Thank-you

Image courtesy of cutewallpaper.com

Whoa, two posts in one day!!!

First, I must apologize. Life again has gotten away with me. My dreams of writing full-time have been waylaid by having to acquire the funds to prevent a homeless state being cast upon myself and my children.

Second, thank-you to all, for your great comments… totally unexpected, and awesome!

I only wish I was techno-savvy and able to post all the great things that are being said, however, as I am relatively new to blogging, and concerned and perhaps overly cautious about viruses – unfortunately, the nature of the few jerk-wads out there that blow the trust for everyone else has commanded that we all be cautious, for if we are not then we end up spending said hard-earned monies to repair, and or acquire new technologies due to our present technologies being destroyed by said jerk-wads…

However, I just wanted to acknowledge those generous comments and let y’all know that I do read them, even when they are sent to my spam folder, and appreciate them.

After returning to my postings, I will renew my efforts in diligence to my site and my postings…

Again, thank-you.

Really? HtTYD2

 

How to Train Your Dragon Logo

Image courtesy of howtotrainyourdragon.com

A couple of days ago I saw How to Train Your Dragon 2 by DreamWorks films. I have to admit that the first half of the movie was AWESOME!!! If you leave after Hiccup’s parents rekindle their love, you will walk away feeling wonderful and happy. Of course, after such a build-up in the trailers, I saw the movie before anyone I knew and had no such warnings to guide my decision to stay or go.

While I would have walked out in the middle of the movie, my movie buddy wanted to see it through; having decided he would never see the movie again he wanted to at least finish it. As incensed and outraged as I was, I respected his wishes and stuck it through to a ‘happy’ ending…

(Right now I must warn you that there is a spoiler in the following paragraphs—there, consider yourself warned…)

…although the senseless cause of death in the middle left me feeling hollow throughout the rest of the film. When it was over my family had to take me out for ice-cream to ease the depressed state of mind that I was in—all from a movie that was supposed to make me feel happy!

Dutifully I posted my displeasure on Facebook warning any who would go for their own entertainment, or take their children to see it, of the emotional trap that lay ahead. If I’d have known what would happen, I would not have seen the movie at all.

It wasn’t the fact that the character died, I’ve come to expect the death of a beloved character when it comes to many of my favorite films. No, it wasn’t the manner of the death that disturbed me, it was the emotional set up and the way that he died that so enraged me.

After all the build-up of Hiccup, the main character in the film, finally meeting his mother; and his father, after seeing her for the first time in twenty years, and professing his undying love for her, releasing her of her guilt for not returning to her family, and rekindling the flame of love between them… it was beautifully done and made your heart swell for the renewal of hope and love and family…

It was amazing and I loved it.

Of course, someone had to die…

Like I said it wasn’t the death that was so hopeless to me, it was the meaningless nature of the death. The bad guy turns Toothless against Hiccup, I mean really, did you want me to see that the bad guy won, it the middle of the movie, the bad guy won. Toothless fired a death-blow on his best friend…

Of course his dad Stoic saves Hiccup by jumping in front of the bolt—saving Hiccup, but dying as a result, and all the writers have to say for the act is ‘bad people make good dragons do bad things’, really?!

You rekindle this beautiful love affair only to kill one of the lovers off in a meaningless death!!! I mean, really!!! You want me to be okay with Toothless actually killing Hiccup?!! ‘Cause that is what happened, Toothless shot a killing blow at Hiccup, not his dad, who almost killed him in the first movie, but at Hiccup…

So, after posting my comment and the distraught state of mind that the movie left me in, one young mother asked me the details, as I would not post the spoiler publicly—though I wanted to, only in a private message.

The comment I got after telling of the tragedy was ‘but… it ends well right?’

What? It ends well? You’re asking if it ends well? Well, if you mean that the bad guy is eventually defeated, of course… the bad guy always loses, but how can you get a good ending out of this? Of course Hiccup overcomes the hypnotic trance of the alpha dragon, a trance that didn’t exist in the first movie by the way…

But seriously, he overcomes it for love and friendship eventually? Like after he would have been dead already if they hadn’t thrown his father under the bus first…

So, just like that—if it ‘ends well’ it makes the stupidity of the initial act okay?

I told her, ‘I guess’, because truthfully, for me, there is nothing that could have happened after the meaningless death of Stoic, after such a beautiful renewal of hope and love, that could have redeemed the fact that it was okay to allow Toothless to kill Hiccup in the first place.

‘It ended well right?’

No, no it did not. I don’t know about you, but I go to the movies—especially a children’s movie—to feel good and I did not feel good by the end of this movie. I felt horrible and numb. I don’t care that Toothless didn’t actually kill Hiccup, the fact is that he fired the death blow—in my mind, their love didn’t save them, ‘cause by the end of the movie, when their love did bring Toothless out of the trance… it was too late, he’d already killed his best friend. So no, the entire second half of the movie sucked because it ended in the middle…

SUPER-bowl?

Image courtesy of profootballcenter.blogspot.com

I’ve never been a huge sports fan – though after going to my first hockey game, I have found that I love hockey…

Yesterday, I decided to see what all of the hullaballoo was about, hooked up my computer to the telly and threw my own super bowl party. I figured that since I wasn’t really invested in either team, that I might actually enjoy the game; (traditionally the team I root for always loses when I watch the game. Yea, yea, I know it’s a coincidence, but coincidence doesn’t stop it from happening; it’s gotten so bad, that my neighbors, and friends, kick me out before the games even started so I don’t curse their team!). At the very least, we could catch the commercials – the super bowl has the best ads, everyone knows that!

After waiting for the count-down on superbowl.com, we ate our super bowl party food and listened to the announcers on the website talk about highlights of past games, and what players were who and did what, we wondered when the heck the game was supposed to start, I mean, it said the game started at 6:30 so why wasn’t the game starting?

Finally, after snooping around the very disappointingly misleading website, we tuned into fox.com and started watching the game in earnest – just in time for half-time. WE MISSED THE FIRST FREAKIN’ HALF OF THE FREAKIN’ GAME! Really, I mean really superbowl.com, you couldn’t announce to us group of newby watchers that you weren’t actually going to show the game!

Disappointed, but determined, we started watching from the second half on – and saw one of the best plays ever! I have always wanted to see this play, and what do you know… (is it the running back that catches the ball?) whoever… Percy Harvin was his name – caught the ball after the kick-off and ran that sucker 87 yards down the field and made a touch-down! And it didn’t stop there! I tell you what, the Seahawks owned the Broncos!

I must say, though the game was terribly one-sided, and I wondered how the Broncos made it to the super bowl in the first place, we had a really good time. I enjoyed watching the game (however refer to previous comment about the Broncs) but mostly, I enjoyed spending time with my family – maybe we’ll invite friends next year… of course, mayhaps I should see who’s playing before inviting someone who cares!

I don’t remember what brought on the memory, but I thought of a game of women’s college basketball that my sister and I ended up watching at Native New Yorker’s. The game was on one of the many screens, and though we didn’t go in with the thought of watching a game, we ended up staying until it finished. It’s taken a while, but I’m discovering that I’m more of a sports fan than I originally thought – who knew!

Now seriously, I doubt that I will ever throw a tail-gate party, or buy a case of beer and sit down to watch the game – whatever game it may be – on a weekly basis, but in all honesty, if a game is on – whatever the sport, I am finding, I enjoy watching it – that is if it’s not so terrible one-sided, then the game is just painful to watch, no really, by the fourth quarter of the Seahawks vs the Broncos… eek, that really hurt!

Anonymity

Here is the thing…

If you want to write for a living, then you must write.

If you want your voice to be heard, then you must speak.

If you want people to listen to what you have to say then you must say what is on your mind – how will you know if they like what you have to say if you don’t venture out of your safe little bubble and say what you have on you mind.

I was watching the 2006 movie Akeelah and the Bee – an excellent movie, by the way…

In one scene, Akeelah, played by Keke Palmer, was reading a quote by Marianne Williamson, to her mentor Mr. Welch, played by Curtis Armstrong (one of my many favorite actors):

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same…

What an empowering saying; and so true. I fear not failure, failure means that I can justify huddling in the bubble of my life, grumbling day to day about the miseries that make up being who I am…

However, do I not want my children to empower their own lives? How better to show them to cast aside their fear by casting aside my own fear and doing what I love to do – I love talking to people, I love speaking my mind, I love when someone hears me and likes what I say, or hears me and gets angry by my words and speaks their own mind.

I don’t want to be anonymous!

Wow, did I just say that? Did I really mean it?

Yes, it is true, the pain and glory of anonymity is a lonely pain, an empty glory!

I want to shout, “Hey, I don’t care that those who do not speak for the average movie goer thought that After Earth sucked, I loved it! I loved that Will Smith played Jaden Smith’s father. I want to see more movies like The Last Airbender, and Red Dawn (the remake was awesome, I was glad to see that they didn’t totally kill the story line, I’ll even forgive them for killing the main character at the end – jerks!) I don’t want gore and violence put in a movie just because Hollywood believes that an R rating will sell more (I give you Star Wars as an example).

I could list movie after movie, G rated, PG rated, and though PG-13 is very hit and miss in my mind – I actually prefer some R’s over PG-13’s thank you very much… but I digress, movie after family friendly movie consistently take the big screen by storm and still they don’t get it. The world is made up of couples and families begging for good, adventurous, dramatic, exciting movies that we can watch and walk out of the theater without saying “That would have been an excellent movie without all the bad language, or the excessive gore…”

Wait, I don’t think this post was originally about movies… what was I talking about?

Oh yeah, anonymity – good word, scary word if you think about it.

I love small towns; do you know why I love small towns? No, not a mind reader? Don’t know me well enough? Well, I’ll tell you why; because you cannot grow up in a small town and remain anonymous. Everyone knows everyone. You have to really. Work. Hard. for years, and years, to stay away from everyone, everywhere, because if just one person sees you, your anonymity is busted! (“Guess who I saw in the Piggly Wiggly the other day…”)

So here I am, a new year, still plugging away at making myself anonymous no more.

It doesn’t matter how long it takes to accomplish a deed – working my website regularly in my case – as long as you don’t give up, you will eventually succeed!

 

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Different things

Smiley Face background

 

 

 

Image courtesy of allbackgrounds.com

It’s funny how different things affect different aspects of your life, and yet everything is ultimately linked. So many things have happened over the last few months, spectacular things, amazing things, life things…

And yet, life remains this constant battle to move forward, to continue on a path set forth by what has happened before.

Life is devious. It doles out hope for the future, at the same time it dashes dreams of the past into oblivion. Hopes and dreams become reality at the same time hopes and dreams fade, only to disappear into obscurity. How strange this life is. Is it no wonder that some choose to exit life on their own terms, however, regardless the method, it is the coward’s way out. Is it not our responsibility to do our best to make life the best we can make it? Is it not our privilege to accomplish the goals we set – alas, we first need goals to set forth.

And what are your goals? Not the goals that give you something in a set period of time, but the goals that make a difference to the workings of the world.

To smile at a stranger, lend a hand to a neighbor, shake hands with a potential enemy, step back to allow someone else to take the glory… shed some light on the world, send a message of hope, experience the satisfaction of spreading peace, however insignificant to the world you mingle with.

Really, aren’t those the types of goals that matter? In the long run, isn’t that what makes the world worth living in?

The other day I saw a video of things that get caught on security cameras, good things, things that uplift the world, things that should be the focus of our world, not the things that bring us down, but the things that lift us up; it’s called: Random Acts of Kindness Caught on Security Cameras all over the world!

This year, I have challenged myself to create a happier world, not for myself, but for the people around me. I will smile more, I will compliment more, I will see more of the good around me, I will focus on the positive and share it. I will speak kindly of those that piss me off…

The list goes on, but you get the gist… at least I do, and that’s what counts.

I invite all who read this to do the same – let’s create a better world together, not for ourselves, but for everyone else.

Caution

snow on cactus

image courtesy of  www.strangefarmer.com 

They say be careful what you ask for… I say ‘cool’

It goes to reason if you ask for some unsavory incident to happen to someone you’re angry with, or for the weather to perform some extreme strange act because you’re uncomfortable – and it happens! Logic has it that if you ask for good things to happen that they too will!

So go ahead, wish for fantastic things – and yes, be careful about your wishing… please make sure it’s something you really want to happen ’cause the consequence of living with something that you wished for, and it wasn’t what you really wanted…

Not only are you stuck with those consequences, but you totally wasted a perfectly good wish on something stupid!