Last time I checked I was fully functional. So, what happened? Did I lose interest? Are all my ideas gone?

No, that’s not it. Life has a way of spinning you around. All of a sudden, you can’t find the time for what you feel is important, through all the movies, TV shows, computer games… there just doesn’t seem to be time to do what you really want to do.

I am starting again. There are many quotes on succeeding through failure (just google it), Winston Churchill said “Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” He also said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

So, to thwart failure, I shall continue. I will write today, and hopefully tomorrow. I will reinvest myself in myself and go.

If I fail, then I will think like Thomas Edison and say to myself, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Of course, I haven’t achieved 10,000 ways of not working as of yet, but I will continue on until I do.

I am still functional, I am still interested, and I still have ideas, therefore I can continue…


I’ve hit a point in life where I feel like I’m spinning in circles. I go around and around trying to accomplish something but I end up where I began with no progress.

I know it’s temporary, I’ve stalled, it happens…

What to do; what to do?

So much to do, so little time to do it and yet I sit here spinning my wheels… stuck in the mud.

So here I am, struggling, writing something – anything down because anything is progress.

Book is not stalled, like me I’m spinning my wheels writing, erasing, writing something else – so close to the end I can taste it, but still, I am no closer.

Life is not stalled, I am pushing to move, but I feel like I’m swimming in a lake of molasses; movement is painfully slow and though I struggle, it seems like I’m being pulled back, sucked under.

So here I write; writing something – anything down because anything is progress…


I sometimes wish my life was more exciting, but then again, if it was then that would entail my participation in the excitement. Not that I don’t mind excitement, but I find that I like to control the amount of excitement that I have, and sometimes, when things get exciting, things get out of control.

Control is getting more difficult as time passes, not that it was ever very easy, it just seems that I’m tired of fighting for it. Is that why people just give up? They get tired of fighting for control that never existed in the first place?

Loss is inevitable, but to lose to oneself – to just give up on oneself… it breaks something inside us all. Love those around you mercilessly. Hold those dear to you closer and tell them how much they mean to you, you never know when you’ll never get a second chance.

Love often and speak of it more and know that you’ll be sorely missed when you’re gone!

Stay positive

I have resigned myself to read/ post only positive stories/ videos on my social media. I believe that the world is getting carried away by all of the bad publicity. We are forgetting that we are amazing people with a great capacity for compassion.

Yes, there is bad in the world and people make terrible choices with horrible consequences, but maybe, just maybe, if we focus on the good that happens with the intent of helping each other recover from the bad, not sweep it under the rug as has happened in the past, but address, educate, and help people, maybe, just maybe, we can all live up to the amazing potential inside us all!

Sadly frustrated

What is it with American’s and their plot twists? So concerned with surprise in the story, the story is often ruined because of it…

 It has gotten to the point that, for me, I cringe when I see an American made movie come to the theaters. No more am I excited to sit contentedly in a theater, munching my popcorn, dots, and perhaps nibbling on some nachos (my favorite movie snack). I have become wearily wary of devastating twist of plots.

Take ‘How to Train Your Dragon II’, please! The story is wonderful until Toothless tries to kill his best friend and companion Hiccup. I don’t want to hear ‘But he didn’t kill him,’ because he tried to, Hiccup’s father got in front of the death-dealing blow, yes, but that blow was meant for his best friend! HOW CAN YOU MISS THAT! Okay, death is inevitable, I get that, I don’t even mind to terribly if a character I love dies – but not that way!


 Then there is ‘The Hobbit’, really, really! Yes, Thorin, Fili, and Kili all die in the book, but the manner in which they died was honorable. In the movie it was a horrible, meaningless death; a death that was a victory for the bad guy, a bad guy taken from the story and given a fictitious back story, in which he succeeds in his fictitious revenge through destroying Thorin’s blood-line by killing Fili and Kili. To add injury to insult, the deranged writer brings Bolg back from the dead to kill Thorin alone and devastated by the loss of his kin. Can you say Freddie Kruger?!?

It’s disturbing to think that today’s writers think that these horrible twists are okay!

 Two movies which I would have loved to put in my collection, I will never watch again, nor will I recommend them to anyone without a warning. It saddens me to have incomplete libraries, especially when it’s the last of a trilogy that will never be completed. In fact, I will not even keep the first two of ‘The Hobbit’ because I am so incensed by it.

 I understand that books are essentially rewritten for movies, and I’m okay with that, but seriously, don’t ruin the story!

 That said. It has come to the point that if I see that it’s an American movie, I will not likely pay money to see it in the theater. I will wait until it comes out and watch in on Netflix, or rent it through Red box, and then only if people I trust tell me it’s okay. I am now more willing to see a foreign movie, with the predictable plots that make the good triumph over the bad.

 You can keep your plot twists. I watch movies to feel good, not to be surprised by unexpected failures and bad guys that come back from the dead to triumph. Against all odds, I want my main characters to win!

Think about it…



Seriously, when is the world gonna face the fact that we are sick!

I work in the NICU ( Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) at a hospital. When I started, birth defects happened, they’ve always happened, but they were rare.

In the ten years that I have worked here, I’ve seen birth defects/anomalies increase beyond acceptable measures. I could go back and figure out the percentage, but I’d rather focus on the whole picture, not just a piece of it…

Not only are birth defects on the rise, but cancer is no longer an eye-opening, shock to one’s families and friends but something that just ‘happens’.

No longer do you think ‘cancer… how’d that happen?’ instead we’re more likely to think, ‘Wow, cancer; what a drag!’

Mental illness, psychological imbalances, violent behavior, excessive drug use, suicide…

Although unfortunately, a percentage of social issues happen, it is on the rise, and though people want to blame the media or social breakdown of the family, or whatever it is that people choose to blame for our societal breakage, I’m proposing a different less obvious reason.

Think about this if you will:

Over the last fifty years there have been multiple major nuclear accidents, Tokaimura, Buenos Aires, Saint-Laurent, Idaho, Goiânia, Three Mile Island, Windscale, Kyshtym, Fukushima, Chernobyl – these are just the top ten, there are many, many more, more than even I imagined before I started writing this; before I did my ten minutes of research – and these are the known disasters… How many accidents are top-secret (submarine, or warships for instance) or have been covered up?

Clouds of contamination have been released into the atmosphere or into the oceans and water supplies…

While no one wants to view the reality of a poisoned world, we need to – we must address this issue in order to do something about it!

I sit here helpless. I don’t know what to do, do you? What can we do? For that I have no answer, but know this, unless we do figure it out, we will only get worse.

My goal here is to raise awareness of a possibility that no one seems willing to look at, or if they have looked at it, they refuse to address.

Think about it, and after you think about it, get others to think about it; then hopefully, if enough people think about it, or the right people will think about it and someone will finally do something about it.

WE ARE SICK people, and unless we stand up for ourselves, no one will.


Photo’s courtesy of:



Three Mile Island:




Time, the never-ending cycle that continues at various rates and intervals.

How is it that so much time escapes me between my writings. What evil word is ‘tomorrow’.

I can make excuses, claim life, living, work, family, circumstances… pick one for yourself, I can claim it… as the reason for my non-compliance to my own wishful diligence; but it all boils down to the indiscretion of time – or my indiscriminate use of it.

I sit here thinking, this time – I will do it this time! But deeper down, the voices that rule my very existence laugh and mock me.

All I can really do is recommit, and keep re-committing every time I seem to fail, for failure isn’t in the stopping, or the falling, but in the refusal to get back up and try again.

Again, again, again, I will work at committing to my desire to write full-time. After all, it is, at this moment, my deepest desire.

What a day!!!

Image courtesy of

This day is worthy of Alexander in Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst.

Why, oh why must these days creep upon us, and though we know they are out there, they always catch us by surprise.

Rather than ramble about the tedious exploits of the day, which included showing up early to someone elses doctor appointment, only to return an hour later to discover that the receptionist, who was too busy watching something on her computer monitor to look at my name, confused me with someone else, and that my appointment was scheduled for the following week…

– had she actually looked at my name on the appointment sign in sheet, she could have informed me early on, and I could have resumed my day by sleeping and working – I work nights…

– as it were, it was too late to sleep, too late to cancel my call out, too late to do anything but go back to bed and mope.

That was just one of the series of unfortunate events, of which I rained over everyone I came in direct contact with – I ask again – why?

– that which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger – was my sister’s anecdote, and though I love my sister dearly, I really hate that phrase!

– so, here I be, moping in my bedroom, with the blinds pulled low and the lights all off, keeping my self induce misery to, well, myself.

Maybe I’ll find a really scary movie to watch, those are best watched in these dark moods. So, it’s off to the shadows, and hopefully, I will emerge in better spirits – hey, scary movies just do it for me when I’m in these moods…



Robin Williams 2011a (2).jpg

Photo courtesy of

I would feel remiss if I didn’t post my sorrow about the passing of a great, great man. Robin Williams, my hero in so many ways…

First, though I know it will likely not reach them – my condolences to the Williams’ family. My grief is poignant, I can only imagine your sorrow. My thoughts and prayers go to you.

Wow, this really hurts!

My first experience with Robin Williams was in my living room watching Mork and Mindy, it fast became my favorite TV show and He instantly became my favorite actor.

I was thrilled when I learned that he was not only a comedic actor, but a very serious actor as well – and brilliant. I hated seeing him play a bad guy, well… because he did such an excellent job, I hated seeing my beloved funny guy in that role.

Though I loved almost any show he acted in (some were not my genre), a few of my favorite movies are: Dead Poet’s Society – I learned to change my perspective of the world; Good Morning Vietnam; Awakenings – where I was thrilled to discover that he was a real actor, not just a comedian; The Fisher King; Hook – of course; Batty in FernGully – the movie was okay, but from Batty, I discovered that not all Rap was bad; Aladdin – the genie… need I say more! Mrs Doubtfire – seriously, I cannot see anyone else pulling off that role; Jumanji; The Birdcage; Jack; Flubber; Good Will Hunting – two of my favorite actors together – yummy! Patch Adams; Jakob the Liar – sad, of course anything about the holocaust is sad; Bicentennial Man; Night at the Museum; Oliver Twi…. Uhm, no – August Rush – not so much his character, but he did a brilliant job…

This list I got from IMDb.

Though I must admit that I haven’t seen everything that He’s participated in, what I have seen has repeatedly proven the versatility of the man he was. I always have been and still am in awe of this great man.

From Robin Williams, I learned that it’s okay to make fun of life, good or bad; most importantly, I learned that you didn’t have to grow up to be an adult.

Thank-you Mr Williams, I never grew up, and I never will. The world has lost an icon…


Uhm, this is interesting…

I have been thinking, well not daily, but a lot, about posting something here.

You know, keeping a regular blog, that doesn’t entail personal disclosures on a daily basis is really difficult…

That said, I have been thinking about what is post worthy… So, what is post worthy? Does the world want to hear my miscellaneous ramblings?

I once thought that I wanted to be a philosopher, I mean, all they do is walk around telling the world their view on the world and they get paid for it!

But the world has no use for philosophers, or so I thought, that was before the internet…

Now I find people searching the internet for like-minded people with like-minded views of their own realities – and some of it is very scary

I’ll try my best not to be very scary.

I’m rambling… I know I’m rambling, and you know why I’m rambling? Because I can! This is my site, I pay for it, I have control over it and I can say whatever I want! That is I can say whatever I want as long as it is within the code of the contract I signed to get this site. Which is a good thing, because while I personally wouldn’t say most things that randomly pop in my head, things that my personal little moral police chase out as soon as they detect it… some people – not so much.

That reminds me of when I was a kid, and I know that I’m not the only one that has thought this because I’ve seen such thinking displayed for public humor in other media – mostly TV – that was the main media outlet when I was but a lass – chriminy, am I dating myself – well, according to my kids, I did finally turn 110 on my birthday 2010. Before then I was 108 – I guess they thought I needed to grow up a bit.

Boy, do I have OOH SHINY bad today or what! You know, ADOS – Attention Deficit Ooh Shiny… according to Michael, most girls have it, all babies have it, and very few animals don’t have it…

Oh, back to my childhood thinking – did you think I forgot? Well I have it written up there somewhere, so how could I forget it, it’s in permanent memory mode… Whew, I think I better stop soon, this Ooh Shiny is not going away anytime soon…

My thoughts as a child were that the world was full of micro-people – they ran everything! They swept out the internal organs and kept them clean, they ran the pumps that kept your blood going – hey, I was a kid, I didn’t know about the heart and lungs and kidneys until I was five! Give me a break! Even then, the micro-people took care of them and made sure they did their jobs!

Even the radios and the TV’s had micro-people to keep us entertained – it was fantastic how they coordinated from house to house to make sure everyone saw and heard the same things, but I only thought that when logic hit my brain – around eight I think… of course, when logic hit, then knowledge soon followed. Who cares that it’s the other way around, it’s my story, if you don’t like it go tell your own story!

Eek, I’m a mite touchy today along with the Ooh Shiny thing. I guess I’ll stop now, no sense harassing the little voices in my brain that gives me all the nice points to make… hey, is that what’s wrong with me and my postings lately? Are my voices unwell? Maybe they have strep and can’t talk that loud and I’m not listening close enough…

Okay, I’m done… thanks for reading my ramblings – hey, I appreciate it, even if I do or don’t know who you are, it’s nice of you to read and think good thoughts about what I write… if you don’t like it, you wouldn’t read it right? Anywho, have a great shiny day while I try to get the OS out of my mind – or not, it doesn’t bother me most times, but it sure wasn’t helpful today!

This it, I’m done, I’m hitting publish… now.